Recently, RuPaul posted on Social Media, “Shunned by whites for being black, by blacks for being gay, and by gays for being fem….” Needless to say, someone will always be ready to judge you, perhaps the problem is not the color of your skin, or the gender of the person you love. Perhaps it truly is as Ru says… “Ego needs to feel superior over others”
But why? What is it about judging someone that makes you feel superior? Why do we feel comfortable judging someone’s “look” and “dragging them through it” when most of us don’t have the courage to step on a stage out of costume, much less in heels wearing clothes for the “wrong gender”?
What makes anyone think that because we look at others and have an opinion, that anyone else wants to hear what we’re saying? What makes people of different ethnic backgrounds, upbringing, countries even, think they know what the other should or should not be doing?
What if, just for one day at a time, we took a look at ourselves. We took a really good look. Not one of those mirror checks where you give yourself approval as you walk out the door for the club. But a good hard look at what it is that makes you think anyone wants to hear the negative things you have to say in life?
Have you noticed, it’s a competition about who has it worse when we’re talking about things as simple as sleep? “I got 4 hours of sleep last night….” “oh yeah, well I only got 3 hours of broken sleep.” Why would this be a competition anyone wants to join? The “Who Has It Worse” club is definitely among those throwing a lot of shade at people doing things they don’t understand.
When you come from a place of hate and fear, your words will reflect that. But if you have love and understanding in your heart, that will pour out. So no matter what the color of your skin, gay, bi, straight, butch, femme, whatever you identify as with your gender, sexuality, race, nationality or any of the million things that make us different, embrace the differences. Find something good and you will continue to see the good in the world.
In no way will this completely eliminate hate, but it makes for a few less bitter bitches. And I hope you agree, we can use a few less bitter bitches…. in case you never noticed… they don’t give awards for being the biggest bitch, but they do for being the most congenial.
AND FIERCE DOES NOT EQUAL BITCH. You can do fierce without being a bitch honey. Embrace your beauty, embrace your strength and look for the light instead of the darkness in each day!
:::Steps of soapbox:::